Tag: new

I am not the kind of girl who sulks

August 12, 2017

I say repeatedly to myself, to the tune of Bebe Rexha’s ‘Bad Bitch’, buried up to my glasses in Jane Austen’s words.

I would like to think that I am not the kind of girl who sulks, but I am.

I am the kind of girl who throws herself into her work, who gets upset and cries in the shower when there’s no more work left to do, and takes a long time to get over things.

I am also the kind of girl who is strong.

Everyone has different ways of dealing with pain, grief, disappointment, etc. There are some that are unhealthy, but for the most part coping mechanisms are the way that we get through life. For example, I tend to feel down for a few days about negative things that happen in my life, and there are those who would say that that isn’t productive or isn’t helping me, but it is just how I process things. You have to walk across lanes of traffic to get to the other side of the street; dealing with negativity is much the same way. No one is the same; no one’s brains work exactly the same. We go through a neural process called pruning in early childhood, which is entirely shaped by our own unique experiences, and I am of the opinion that that’s a large part of the reason that every human is unique. Throughout the rest of our lives, this means that we all have a unique perspective on situations both positive and negative, and as long as you are not hurting yourself or others, none of these perspectives are bad.

Negativity doesn’t define us. How we react to the things that get us down is what defines us. Whatever it is that you do, however it is you survive, make sure it’s worthy of who you are.

 

Postscript:

I know summer isn’t ‘technically’ over, but I felt the need to write about this for a lot of reasons. I’ll consider this my official return to blogging for the rest of the school year, since I don’t post in the summer. I hope you all  have enjoyed this post, and your regularly scheduled completely irrelevant picture (of the Trevi fountain in Rome)! Please feel free to let me know what you think, and/or what to write about next.

happiness: a constitutional right

May 5, 2017

Finals is a tough time. Today I woke up and I knew I wanted to write something, but no original ideas have really been coming to me. The focus on memorizing the steps of a factorial ANOVA statistical test have been really taking it out of me, and although I’m almost done, I’ve been struggling to stay motivated. When stressing about things like finals, it’s also really easy to start stressing about seemingly unrelated issues.

My first year in Richmond is drawing to a close, and because of this I’ve been reflecting a lot. I was making the decision to transfer here a year ago, waiting on tenterhooks for my acceptance letter and dreading the reaction my parents would have when I told them I wanted to uproot my life and move to a city that doesn’t always have the best reputation for safety. When I finally got my acceptance letter, their reaction was not what I hoped it would be, and I had set the bar low. They didn’t want me to transfer, but after a summer of coaxing they agreed–as long as I kept my grades up and got involved in research (which was my best argument for transferring, and not a false one either).

Now, a year later, I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not this was the right decision for me, and although there have been a few hardships, the answer is an overwhelmingly enthusiastic yes. I’ve never been happier than I am now, living in a crappy apartment outside the city, commuting every day to hole up in the library and study for my exams. I couldn’t be more excited for the next two years of undergrad, with a beautiful apartment lined up in the city and friends I love. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t ignored my parents advice to ride it out and move elsewhere for grad school. Thinking about my life, sometimes I can’t even believe what a success the move has been so far, or how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to do something like this.

The moral of the story is this: chase your own happiness. It’s not always easy, it may not pay off immediately, and you will get discouraged along the way, but it is always worth it. I know I spout a lot of crap like this, but I can’t overstate how much it’s improved my life to be happy like this. It’s like my life has finally started for real, and I’m so excited.

P.S. Richmond is a great city for art; please enjoy this completely unrelated photo of my favorite mural I’ve seen so far!

 

Finding Solace in Science

April 22, 2017

Tomorrow (or I guess today, considering it’s after midnight as I start writing this) is a very important day. It’s Earth Day for one, and it’s also the March for Science in Washington, DC. Since I live in Northern Virginia when I’m living with my parents, I will of course be taking part.

Broadly speaking, science has been a hugely significant part of my life. From the time I was in the seventh grade taking my first biology class to now, as a real life scientist writing a real life research proposal, science has helped me to thrive.

When I went through a period of severe insecurity around the time I turned thirteen, learning about metabolic processes and anatomy helped me to respect my body for the perfect result of millions of years of evolution that it is.

When I started learning about philosophy the first year of high school, I started to search for what I believed in; maybe I still don’t know, but the Laws of Thermodynamics sure explained a lot when I started to think about it.

When I started to learn about the details of genetics that same year, I made the first (of what would become many) serious decision of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Having been a kid that was good but not great at everything else I tried, it was the first time I was truly skilled at something. I would later learn that the real skill I had discovered was simply pattern recognition, but being good at biology made me feel like a real person, like I truly existed in the world.

When I took my first psychology class two years later, I found my calling. There are those who would say that psychology is a ‘soft science’, or that it isn’t as important as, say, physics or chemistry, but the fact is that all of the other sciences come together in psychology. To run, read, and understand an fMRI, you have to understand more than basic chemistry and at least simple physics, not to mention brain biology and how they all interact.

Don’t get me wrong, literature and music have also given me an unimaginable amount of gifts. I’ve always known that. Now though, as a student and as a researcher, I look back and finally fully understand all that science has given me. It has given me confidence, taught me respect, frustrated me, educated me, robbed me of sleep, and most importantly, given me a purpose in my life. Some people find solace in going to church,  in praying, or meditating. Over the years, I have always found my solace in science.

I’m sure to many people this will seem grossly oversimplified, reductionist, and all other manners of mechanical, clinical, et cetera. But to me science is none of those things; there are so many theories and ideas and explanations that the way they can be combined to form ideologies and paradigms is artistic, complex, and completely the opposite of oversimplified. Tomorrow, or more accurately later today, I will be marching so that the next little girl like me will have the same or (hopefully) better opportunities than me, that she will be able to find herself in theories the same way I did, and that she will make the world better for it, the same way I hope to.

PS. Enjoy the picture I took at the last march on Washington I attended, the Women’s March. It’s not quite related to the topic, but I like it.

I’m Back! An Update

February 4, 2017

So first of all, I want to apologize for taking such a long time off. Typically I like to write in my university library, surrounded by the smell of coffee brewing and the friendly sounds of other students, but over the winter I was at home, and didn’t get as much chance to write.

I’ve added some new factors to my identity over the past few weeks: I am now a real-live scientist who works in a lab, a new member of the honors college, and a name on the dean’s list. I’ve never been more proud of myself than I am right now, and that’s a brand new feeling for me. I wish I could talk about the research we are conducting in the lab right now–we’ve had some seriously interesting results–but since it isn’t published yet, I think  I should withhold. Once the results become public, I’ll certainly share as it is pretty interesting for those of us interested in psychology. This semester, I will also be beginning my own independent research project through the lab, which I am immensely excited about, and will possibly post updates about as I go.

Another recent event I participated in was the Women’s March on Washington in Washington, DC. It was an amazing experience; I have never felt so much a part of something in my life, and I can’t wait to participate in the Scientists March on Washington in April. The Trump administration has made many decisions that are unbelievably dangerous not just for America but also for the world, and I firmly believe in standing up for myself and others. As the child of two immigrants, a woman, and a scientist, remaining silent would be akin to betraying myself and my identity.

On a less serious note, I know everyone thinks new year’s resolutions are overrated and no one ever keeps to them, but I wanted to share mine! The most healthy one I made was to drink more water; I’m constantly dehydrated because I never drink enough, and this year I want to take better care of myself in that aspect of my life. I also want to keep up the work ethic that I managed to incite in myself last semester, as the taste of success that I got as a result was and is the best feeling ever.

Anyway, the new semester has begun and I am so excited to begin this new journey, as well as share it with those of you who are listening. I’d like to point out that if any of you reading this need someone to talk to for any reason at all, especially now, please feel free to talk to me. I will help to the best of my abilities. I really think that love and support is the key to surviving times like these, and I want to embody those things as much as I can.

Why I Transferred

October 20, 2016

Every time I tell someone that I’m a transfer student (it doesn’t happen often anymore, I know my way around campus and the city in general) they act surprised, because while it does happen often, transfers make up a pretty small population at any school. Those who do transfer, normally do so in their junior year or after they have earned their Associate’s Degree from a community college, neither of which describe me. I transferred from one four-year university to another after my freshman year, and here’s why.

I’m the oldest child in my family, and so when I was applying to colleges none of us really knew what it was all about. I applied to a relatively small number of rather elite schools, didn’t spend enough time on my admissions essays, and while my SAT I and II scores were more than acceptable, it wasn’t enough. I was accepted into my backup school, and that was it. So that was where I went, without ever having toured the campus or known anyone there. I also hadn’t really researched their programs relevant to my field of study, and all of these things became reasons I was unhappy.

It was hard to make friends at first, and that’s when thoughts of transferring entered my head. Later, when I made a close group of friends, I stopped considering it seriously, although it stayed at the back of my mind. It was only later, after a few unfortunate experiences and a feeling of displacedness set in that I really started to consider transferring again. A small school didn’t suit me, and although I was never one for Greek life I considered rushing a sorority just for something to do. I started to become depressed, slipping slowly into a relatively dark place that came to a head when I had a breakdown shortly after winter break ended. I applied to two schools to transfer to, both of which were closer to home (my family is my support system, and while I didn’t feel devastatingly homesick, it manifested in different ways) and got accepted into my current school. I knew I would be happy there, since I had visited in the past and fallen in love with the city. I knew I would be challenged, because their psychology program was miles better than my previous one; the program was and is the highest funded in the entire university. I knew that this was a place where I could grow, find myself, and succeed.

And here I am, halfway through my first semester. I’ve had countless new experiences, my GPA is the highest it’s ever been in college. And I’ve never been happier.

Weekly Thoughts

September 21, 2016

img_4926    These days my life is filled with realizations of reasons I’m following the right track for my life. This week I submitted my first paper of the semester, and I had so much fun analyzing the reliability/validity of a particular psychological assessment that I could barely keep to the page limit.

Writing the paper got me thinking a lot about what it means to be a unique individual, both from a psychological as well as a philosophical perspective. Everyone has their own story, and they make us who we are. Psychology tends to group people into different traits and categories, but the stories we write with our decisions are what brings those traits to life within each of us. Tons of people around the world think of themselves as extraverted or introverted, but all for unique and different reasons.

For years, I thought of myself as extraverted because I always had lots of friends, and socializing came easily to me because we had lots of game nights that created enjoyable memories. Now, at almost-19 years of age, I consider myself more of an ambivert; I still enjoy socializing, but now many of my most enjoyable memories are evenings spent with my roommate, studying and singing along to early 2000s pop songs rather than the large and loud games of twister and water balloon fights of my high school self. I think that’s my favorite part about psychology though; exploring how and why these changes happen, and the people behind the categories. It’s okay to change, and I’m now discovering the fact that it’s not actually all that uncommon either. Humans are changeable through experiences, and sometimes we look upon it as something bad, but frankly if I met someone who had never changed in their whole life I would be absolutely shocked.

P.S enjoy this picture of a door from a palace in India. I thought it might be symbolic, but really I just like how it looks.

If You Give a Girl a Textbook

September 9, 2016

Well, I’m new to this, so I figure I’ll start with an introduction. My name is Meera. I’m a second year psychology student at a school in central Virginia (although I recently transferred here from a school further south). For the most part, I am your average college student. I go to class every day, drink coffee in the library, and stay up way too late watching Netflix. Why should you listen to me? Firstly because everyone deserves to feel a part of something. No one should feel alone in their lives, and sometimes it’s hard to find people  who share your daily struggles; so we look elsewhere from our everyday life. If my experiences and struggles can help even one person to feel more connected and less alone, then I’ll feel like I’ve achieved my goal with starting this blog. Secondly because I simply enjoy sharing my opinions, jokes, and random facts. I think I’m funny; you may just think I’m a huge nerd (which is also true). Either way, happy reading!